• Yehudit Zicklin-Sidikman

6. Poking at Past Pains and Loss



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Six Inappropriate Behaviors Recently Seen on TV and Tips for Handling


Behavior 6: Poking at Past Pains and Loss


Abusers look for pain points to poke, point out, and question as a way to gain control. If they can’t control your actions, they work on controlling your feelings.


The easiest way to do that is to bring up painful moments or losses and harp on them.


The easiest way to do that is to bring up painful moments or losses and harp on them.

Even when done with the claim of “just making a point” or even “sympathizing,” that is not the goal.


The goal is to control.


Remember. You don't have any obligation to engage. You are the only one who gets to decide how you handle your pain and grief.