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  • Writer's pictureYehudit Zicklin-Sidikman

An Artichoke, A Kerfuffle, and a Lesson in Boundary Setting

Updated: Apr 17, 2021

A drawing from the former El HaLev KidPACT program

Recently, I had a little kerfuffle with my 4 ½ year old grandson. Had to do with an artichoke and you can only imagine. Because of my audacity, he demanded to start all over with a new artichoke.

My answer: No.

Well, okay, to be honest, I was much nicer and explained that I was sorry that I had taken one of his discarded leaves in an attempt to show him that there was a lot more on the leaf and how he could learn how to get more..... I think you got the scene.

Anyway, he did not like my “no.” And I am certain that his parents are very good at setting boundaries with him, so I stuck my ground.

Boy does that kid have a set of lungs on him! What a perfect way to fend off an intruder.

And that got me thinking.

Do we practice with our kids and talk about how and when it is appropriate to make a really loud noise in order to get help?

Most of us spend our time trying to get them to “lower their voice” and “use an indoor voice please.” Which probably looks a lot more like, “Can you please stop screaming!”

But do we ever let them practice using their fierce voice?

I am not suggesting that you do this unsupervised or outside of a clear classroom situation! Who knows how it will sound to the [fill in the blanks] who we hope would care enough to come running to see what it was that was happening?

But I challenge you to be creative and see how you too can help your kids keep connected to that fierce voice that they have within them.

Oh, and an hour later while sitting next to me and playing on the couch, he just randomly offered, “I love you Omi!”

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