Empowering Children Through Choice

“Because everyone deserves to have the tools to set their boundaries.”

 ~ El HaLev Staff Member

This is one of the topics that drives parents mad when they hear me teach. 

“How am I supposed to teach my kids boundaries when I need them to comply with my directions???” 

“I’ll never get anything done if all the time it is a negotiation or waiting for them to agree to take a shower so there is consent.” 

“This can’t be a democracy??? I need them to go to bed!” 

Yes, this is a real dilemma. We want to empower children to make decisions about their own bodies, AND we need to parent them and teach them how to take care of those bodies. Ie. Brush teeth, take showers, eat healthy food etc. How do we give them choices and educate them at the same time? 

We want to empower children to make decisions about their own bodies, AND we need to parent them and teach them how to take care of those bodies.

Great question! And, I am trying to figure it out with my grandkids. 😊 Pretty sure I did not get it right with my kids. 

I think the simple answer is “pick your battles.” In places where you can give choice, do it. 

“Here are the options, dinner first and then bath, or bath first and then dinner?” 

In life, we all learn that there are things we need to do even if we don’t like doing them. I would hope we learn WHY it is important to do and that helps us get through the, “But I don’t like it.” 

In life, we all learn that there are things we need to do even if we don’t like doing them.

A great example would be flossing your teeth. I have yet to meet anyone who loves doing it.

But then there are the easy things. “I don’t want to wear that shirt!” Fine, you pick the shirt and I will help you put it on. “I don’t want a hug.” Ok, maybe later. 

It really is ok for a kid to not have to hug someone on command or the instant they walk in the door. I am pretty sure, if the relationship is good and safe, the hug will happen.

Naturally. 

Food for thought....