No Child Should Have to Sit Alone With Their Hurt

“Children don’t get traumatized because they get hurt. Children get traumatized because they’re alone with the hurt.”

~ Dr. Gabor Mate, The Wisdom of Trauma

“Children don’t get traumatized because they get hurt. Children get traumatized because they’re alone with the hurt.”

When I was leaving my marriage, I wrote that, “I find myself scared of the loneliness ... and it has only begun ... I feel like a baby …”

I spent six years of my childhood experiencing trauma at the hands of a trusted member of the clergy. It took me many years to realize that what I had experienced was traumatic. But that doesn't mean it wasn't trauma.

I sat alone with the hurt of that trauma for far too long.

Whether I was aware of it or not, I entered my marriage alone with that hurt.

And of course, leaving my marriage was another form of trauma.

There was no way coming out, especially in a religious community, wasn’t going to be scary. But all of that hurt and loneliness that had built up inside of me, like pressure in an Instapot, made it scarier than it had to be.

There was no way coming out, especially in a religious community, wasn’t going to be scary.

But all of that hurt and loneliness that had built up inside of me, like pressure in an Instapot, made it scarier than it had to be.

Today, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful people, to have the freedom to live my life openly, and to be unequivocally me.

And I’m also doing everything in my power to create a world where children are seen AND heard.

And I’m also doing everything in my power to create a world where children are seen AND heard.

Where children know how to speak up, know that they have a right to speak up, and know that they will be listened to when they do so.

Because no child should have to sit alone with their hurt.