• Yehudit Zicklin-Sidikman

On Dealing With Grief, Part 2 -- The Power of Asking “What Do You Need?”



After I told my friend about the box and ball analogy, she told me that she was trying really hard to find something she could say that would make her mother feel better.


But she couldn’t find the right words.


So, I asked her if she’d asked her mother what she needed.


So, I asked her if she’d asked her mother what she needed.

She said she felt like she had, but she hadn’t used those specific words.



And then, I could practically see the lightbulb over her head. It was okay to stop ransacking her brain for the right words. What a relief!


Maybe her mother didn’t know what she needed. Maybe she did. But the question still needed to be asked.


The important thing was for my friend to show her mother that she was there for her, and that she cared. Asking her what she needed opened the door to new and important conversations.

The important thing was for my friend to show her mother that she was there for her, and that she cared. Asking her what she needed opened the door to new and important conversations.


Why do you think “What do you need from me right now?” is such a powerful phrase?

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