Signed, Worried Fiancee

Here's my response to another great question that was sent in by one of you. 💌

Dear Yehudit,

I am not sure how to handle this issue with my fiancé. I open doors for everyone.

I just do. It has always felt like the right thing.

If I get to the door before someone else, I offer to hold it for them.

This drives my fiancé crazy.

He insists on holding the door for me, and has hinted that the proper thing would be for me to just let him open the door every time.

He insists on holding the door for me, and has hinted that the proper thing would be for me to just let him open the door every time.

I mean he will put his hand above mine and usher me in the door.

Every. Single. Time.

Am I nuts or is this worrisome????

Signed,

Worried Fiancee

Dear Worried,

First, I would ask, have you had a conversation around unpacking why this is so important to him?

I would want to know if this is the only way his “chivalry” comes out or if there might be other instances where there are “rules” around who wears the pants in the house.

Second, I would want to know if this is the only way his “chivalry” comes out or if there might be other instances where there are “rules” around who wears the pants in the house.

Hate to say it, but my Dad is the same way. He just cannot walk into a doorway before letting all the women in first. Even if it means talking over holding the door from me.

That behavior is from a different generation. And, there are so many other ways where he shows respect.

So, not an easy issue, but certainly worth unpacking.

If you have a question, please send me a message. I may not have "all the answers," but I'll do everything I can to give you a supportive and encouraging response. 📫